30 Weeks

I am 30 weeks today. I can't believe I made it to the 30's. We got a bunch of second hand baby clothes on the weekend. Around 140 articles of clothing for $80! Ralph has started to put things together, and the room is almost completely cleared out. We still don't have a crib. I've been looking for a second hand one, but haven't found anything. I was looking at a Stork Craft one at Walmart that was around $300, but they are sold out. So, I'm not really sure where we are going to get one. I really don't want to pay much more than that. I have a huge desire to nest right now, but it's kind of difficult while on bed rest. I do what I can while sitting. I can't wait til' all the clothes are washed so I can organize them.

We went to our first prenatal class today, focused on labour and delivery. I have read up on most of this stuff anyway, but it was good for a refresher. Ralph got a little creeped out by the birth video. Haha! I of course cried... There's only one more class next week about basic baby care, breastfeeding, etc. I am looking forward to that. I have another ultrasound and doctor's appointment this week, so hopefully all is still well.

I want to get maternity photo's taken around the end of this month. I was talking to my mum the other day, and she thinks they aren't necessary. I know they aren't, but I would really like to do this. This very well could be my last pregnancy... I have no idea. I don't know if I will be able to get pregnant again, and if I can I don't know if I could endure this physical and emotional stress again. It's really quite sad to think of. Ralph is really very good to me, and very supportive but I am the one that has to go through this. I have to worry 24/7 about whether these contractions are true labour or not. I constantly worry about our baby being born early. I wonder if the baby is growing properly, if they are moving enough/too much, about every ache and pain. I feel that nobody around me has gone through what I'm going through, and will never understand how incredibly difficult this is! No matter how hard I try to keep our baby safe, I can't foresee or control the future. I just have to have faith that this is our time to take home our baby.

I'm getting very emotional these past few weeks. We are so close to taking our little peanut home, but I'm still so very scared! Thanks for reading.... sorry I just spewed out my emotions there.

30 Week Belly

- Amy